FromSofwtware found an insane amount of success with Dark Souls II, the sequels to the critically panned Dark Souls. The development team took a big risk by developing it without Director Hidetaka Miyazaki’s knowledge, but it paid off. Improving in every facet, introducing forgettable environments, a poor sense of difficulty, adding extra clunk to the gameplay, soul memory, forced online play etc. Literally, every change was for the better – and most people who don’t appreciate it for its perfection are uncultured.

Due to the insane success of Dark Souls II and the flops that were Bloodborne, Dark Souls III and Sekiro: Shadows Die Twice, FromSoftware’s higher-ups have made the executive decision to fire Hidetaka Miyazaki and replace him with an inordinate rock as the director of their upcoming title, Dark Souls II-2. Not a lot of information has been released about the sequel-to-the-sequel-to-the-spiritual-successor but what they have confirmed is:

  • The bug which doubled the speed at which weapons degraded is making a return but is being doubled once again. Expect your weapons to break when you equip them.
  • The image that was revealed with the game is a rock, which is used to communicate the game’s doubling down on the clunkiness. According to the studio, the characters handle like “a dumb rock”
  • Environments will consist entirely of bland-looking castles
  • More lore which makes no sense at all – even hinting at retcons

As for Miyazaki? Well, his career as a Game Director is over. 4 out of his 4 games were critical flops so it doesn’t look like he’ll be getting hired by any other studios anytime soon, except for maybe Naughty Dog, BioWare or Rockstar, they love bad design